Don’t Be Fooled by Cuffing – Divorce Lasts Longer Than Marriage

By Sheryl Rentz on January 8, 2018

During the summer, people generally want to be single and free; but once it gets cold, singles feel the need to settle down and find someone to be with for the winter months. “Cuffing season” refers to this time of year when people desire relationships. Although it sounds like a joke, it’s actually scientifically proven that humans want to mate during the colder months. Since it gets darker quicker, this activates your melatonin, which makes your sleepier and lazier. Ultimately, you would rather be inside having intimate interaction instead of going out and being around a lot of people.

With that being said, don’t let the need for companionship make you rush into a relationship before you get to know that person. Getting into an intimate relationship without making sure a person is right for you is a recipe for disaster. Huffington Post calls it the flytrap: getting involved too deep, too soon.

Whatever you do, don’t let the newness of the relationship cause you to rush into marriage.

How Long Do I Have to Wait?

As hormones rage and love (or what may be perceived as love) takes over, couples may feel they’re ready to take that next step. Although there is no set answer on the appropriate time before getting married, experts suggest waiting at least two years before tying the knot. This allows the honeymoon phase to wear off and for you to see who that person really is. It is important to see how a person deals with everyday life, problems, finances, and how he or she wants to raise children. If you rush into marriage before finding these things out, you’re probably headed for divorce. When you’re “in love,” it’s hard to tell if you’re truly ready for a lifelong commitment.

6 Signs That You’re NOT Ready for Marriage

Below are a list of warning signs that indicate you need to slow things down in your relationship. Be honest with yourself. If you spot these warning signs in yourself or your partner, then you should hold off on marriage just a little longer. No one wants to go through a divorce, so it’s best to be cautious:

• You have a wedding day fantasy. If your main excitement about marriage comes from the actual wedding day (wearing a beautiful gown, the decorations, the nice ring, etc.) instead of building a life with your partner, then you’re going to be in for a rude awakening the next morning when real life starts to happen.
• You think, “Better than nothing.” Settling is never a good reason to marry someone. If, in the back of your mind, you know you’re only with that person because you’re tired of looking or feel that’s the best you can do, you should seriously think twice before walking down the aisle.
• You still crave attention from others. If you still flirt and have inappropriate conversations with the opposite sex, you might not be as ready to settle down as you think.
• You don’t know yourself. Some people are always in a relationship, so they don’t know how to function as individuals. Before you tie the knot, you have to know who you really are and have your own identity outside of your partner. This is especially important if you’re in a relationship after being married for a long time.
• You have trust issues. Trust is the key factor in a healthy and successful relationship. If trust is a problem, then it’s not wise to move forward.
• You don’t communicate effectively. Communication is just as important as trust. If you feel that you cannot effectively communicate with your significant other, steps needs to be taken to rectify the situation.

Only you and your partner know when it’s time to book the venue. There are no set rules on the correct timeframe to get married; however, following these guidelines can help alleviate issues down the road. Divorce is a very costly and time-consuming process and because of that marriage should not be taken lightly. Money, assets, and property have to be divided, and if there are kids involved, custody battles will be fought. It can take years for a divorce to be settled and it gets more expensive as the time goes on. According to Forbes, the average amount of money people spend on divorce proceedings is $15,000 to $30,000!

This cuffing season, take it easy. If you do decide to go ahead and plan the wedding, make sure you speak to an experienced Pennsylvania family lawyer about a premarital agreement first. The Law Offices of Sheryl R. Rentz has handled family law for over 25 years. We specialize in making tough situations like divorce less stressful for our clients. For a free consultation, call (610) 645-0100.