Valentine’s Day Sees an Increase in Divorce
When you hear Valentine’s Day, thoughts of love, roses, chocolates, and happy couples come to mind. You may also think about the lonely single people of the world who dread the day or just pretend it doesn’t exist. No matter what emotions the day brings for you, you would never think that the traditional day of love is when most people file for divorce! But in truth, February 15th sparks the beginning of divorce season, and we family law attorneys across the U.S. become very busy.
A Day for Love or a Day for Divorce?
Studies show that in the past two years, divorce filings have gone up 40% during Valentine’s Day, and divorce inquiries by 36%. Why would such a thing happen on a day that’s supposed to celebrate love and relationships? Well, that might be one direct cause.
- A spouse in an unhappy relationship may use the day as a cut-off day. If her spouse doesn’t deliver in the romance department (plan a romantic dinner, buy flowers, or attempt to rekindle the relationship), then she may see it as the final straw. After all, if your spouse makes no effort to express his or her love on a day that’s made specifically for it, that does raise a red flag.
- Financial issues are one of the most common reasons for divorce. Ironically, January is the biggest month for bankruptcy filings, which could provide a direct link to February’s divorces. If constant arguments about money plague your relationship with no resolution, it can lead you two straight down the road to divorce.
- Another reason could be that Valentine’s Day is the last family-oriented holiday for a while, so it may be easier for couples to separate then versus doing it during Thanksgiving or Christmas. Getting out of an unhealthy or loveless marriage could also be a New Year’s resolution for a lot of people, and with all the preparation it takes, they may finally go through with it in February.
No matter what the cause or what time of year it happens, divorce is always a tough process to endure.
Ways to Prevent Divorce
If you feel your marriage is headed for divorce and you want to stop it, here are a few tips they may help. However, it takes “two to tango,” so if your spouse is unwilling, things will be much harder.
- Admit your mistakes: In an argument, everyone wants to be right and no one wants to admit fault. This can cause issues to fester and never get resolved. If you know that you are at fault, it is best to acknowledge your wrongdoings and work on making improvements. It’s easy to place the blame on someone else, but take a look at yourself and see what you are doing to contribute to the drama as well. Once you’ve identified the problem, start working on ways to make improvements. (Even if you end up divorcing, this is good advice for growing as a person.)
- Make your spouse your priority: Planning a date night or picking an activity that you both enjoy is a great way to keep the intimacy and fun alive in the relationship. Everyone views love differently. Showering one person with gifts may seem like love to some, but others may value time spent as love. Pay attention to what actions make your spouse the happiest. (Genuine compliments go a long way.)
- Communicate your goals: Communication is key. Communicate your feelings with your spouse and put actions behind those words. Let him/her know that you are in it for the long haul and you will do your part to make things right. But also, be honest with your “blah” feelings, too. Don’t fake it to try and make it…that usually hurts more people in the long wrong, including you. If the love is gone, it’s gone; lying about it won’t help.
We Are Here to Help
If you have done all you can to save your marriage and it’s just not working out, seek out a Pennsylvania family law attorney and get as much information as possible. Ideally, your lawyer should provide a mix of professionalism and compassion for where you are in your situation, and go over your options clearly. At the Law Offices of Sheryl R. Rentz, P.C., we have been specializing in family law and divorce in Pennsylvania for over 20 years. We make the needs of our clients a priority and handle cases as professionally and efficiently as possible. For a free consultation with a Montgomery County divorce lawyer, please call (610) 645-0100 today.