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How to Tell Your Partner You Want a Divorce in Montgomery County, PA

By Sheryl Rentz on October 4, 2025

Making the decision to end a marriage can be painful. But once you’ve decided divorce is the best path forward, one of the hardest moments comes next: telling your partner.

This conversation requires thoughtful planning. You’ll want to be emotionally prepared and you may have to take precautions to ensure your personal safety. Understand the legal process in Pennsylvania is also important.

The Law Offices of Sheryl R. Rentz, P.C. helps people throughout Montgomery County prepare for every stage of divorce, including that pivotal first step, the conversation.

Make Sure You’re Legally and Emotionally Prepared

Before initiating the conversation, take time to think through both the legal preparation for divorce and your own emotional readiness.

Emotional Readiness

Ask yourself:

• Are you sure this is what you want?
• Are you prepared for their reaction (shock, anger, sadness)?
• Can you remain calm and focused during the conversation?

If you’re uncertain, consider speaking with a therapist or divorce counselor first. Emotional support can help you separate temporary frustrations from long-term incompatibility.

Legal Readiness in Pennsylvania

Most couples in Pennsylvania file for no-fault divorce, citing irreconcilable differences as the grounds for their divorce. No-fault divorce can proceed if both spouses consent or after a one-year separation period if one party does not consent.

Key legal steps to take:

• Gather financial records, property deeds, and account statements
• Understand what qualifies as marital vs. non-marital property
• Begin thinking about custody if children are involved
• Schedule a consultation with a local family law attorney

At the Law Offices of Sheryl R. Rentz, P.C., we help clients prepare these materials discreetly, so they are informed before the first word is spoken.

Choose the Right Time and Setting

One of the most important decisions you’ll make is choosing a time and place that encourages calm discussion.

Best practices for setting the stage:

• Choose a neutral, private, and quiet location
• Avoid high-stress times like holidays, anniversaries, or family events
• Make sure children are not present or within earshot
• Don’t bring it up in the middle of a conflict

Your tone matters as much as your words. You’ll want to be respectful and direct. Focus on “I” statements to avoid assigning blame. For example, you might say: “I’ve thought about this for a long time, and I believe we need to separate.”

The goal is not to resolve everything in one conversation; it’s to open the door to the process.

Prioritizing Safety in High-Conflict Situations

For some people, the idea of starting this conversation may raise serious safety concerns. If you’re worried about verbal threats, emotional abuse, or physical harm, it’s essential to take steps to protect yourself before initiating the split:

• Consider speaking to a therapist or domestic violence counselor first
• Create a safety plan that includes where to go if you need to leave quickly
• Have a trusted friend or family member nearby

Montgomery County residents can access support through:

• Laurel House – A domestic violence agency offering safety planning and emergency housing
• Montgomery County Protection from Abuse Unit – At the Montgomery County Courthouse
• Women’s Center of Montgomery County – Counseling and legal support

Discussing Divorce Mediation Is an Option

If your partner is open to respectful dialogue, you can suggest divorce mediation as an alternative to contested litigation. Mediation is a structured, non-adversarial process facilitated by a neutral third party. It’s especially beneficial in cases involving children, business interests, or complex property division.

Benefits of divorce mediation include:

• Reducing conflict and legal costs
• Keeping sensitive matters private
• Encouraging cooperative parenting solutions
• Helping to maintain long-term communication

Courts in Montgomery County offer family mediation services, and private mediators can help resolve disputes before or during the legal divorce process. Sheryl R. Rentz works with skilled local mediators, and she can advise you about the process.

Prepare for an Emotional Reaction

Even if your partner suspects the marriage is in trouble, being told directly that you want a divorce can trigger a wide range of emotions, such as anger, disbelief, sadness, or withdrawal. That’s why you’ll want to:

• Stay calm and avoid escalating the conversation
• Don’t try to resolve financial or custody details in the same discussion
• Give your spouse time and space to process the information
• Avoid threats or ultimatums
• Reassure your spouse that you’re committed to handling the situation as respectfully and fairly as possible

If your partner becomes verbally abusive or emotionally volatile, end the conversation and suggest talking another time, ideally in a setting with professional support or legal counsel present.

Following Up With Legal Action and Support

Once the conversation is complete, the legal process begins. That means it’s time to:

• Schedule a formal consultation with a Montgomery County divorce attorney
• Begin collecting documents related to finances, property, and parenting
• Consider creating a temporary parenting plan if children are involved
• Avoid major financial changes (like draining accounts) unless advised by counsel

Reasons to Choose Our Firm

The Law Offices of Sheryl R. Rentz, P.C. can help you create a personalized roadmap, so you’re never navigating this process alone. Sheryl R. Rentz has over 30 years of experience handling divorce and custody cases, including high-conflict, high-asset, and domestic abuse matters. Sheryl has been recognized as a Top Attorney by Suburban Life Magazine and she has a Superb rating from Avvo.

Telling your partner you want a divorce is one of the hardest conversations you’ll ever have, but it’s also the first step toward reclaiming peace and embarking upon a new chapter of life. With the right legal support, you can protect your rights, your children’s best interests, and your long-term well-being.

Speak With a Trusted Divorce Lawyer in Montgomery County

If you’re thinking about ending your marriage and you want guidance on how to tell your partner, we’re here to help. Call (610) 645-0100 to learn more today.

Sheryl R. Rentz will help you prepare for divorce, both emotionally and legally, so you can move forward with confidence.