How to Initiate the Divorce Talk with Your Spouse

By Sheryl Rentz on June 17, 2013

In many cases, divorce does not begin as a mutual decision. One spouse will have realized that the marriage is no longer working; while the other has no idea their partner is unhappy, until the news is finally broken during a heated argument or a stressful holiday gathering.

If you believe it is time to end your marriage, the following tips can help you broach the subject without making a difficult situation even worse:

First, do the research. Consult an experienced divorce attorney and learn about your state’s divorce laws. Knowing your options will help you create a realistic plan of action, especially regarding how your financial situation will change and how you hope to settle custody matters, if children are involved. It’s better to make a well-informed decision rather than blurting out your feelings without first understanding what it could mean in the long run.

What is holding you back? Spend some time figuring out why you want a divorce and why you may be reluctant to let your spouse know. If you are afraid that your spouse may become violent, it may be safer to have the conversation in a public place or discuss your options with a domestic violence lawyer or counselor.

Be respectful. Start the conversation as kindly and respectfully as you can. Avoid insulting or blaming your spouse. If your decision is a complete surprise to your spouse, he or she may need some time to process the overwhelming emotions, but don’t get caught up in pointing out his or her faults or rehashing the past. A mature discussion can help you avoid drama and show that you are still considerate of your partner’s feelings, even if the marriage is not working.

If you are involved in or are considering a Pennsylvania divorce, The Law Offices of Sheryl R. Rentz, LLC can help you and your family through the complex divorce process. Call us at (610) 645-0100 for a free and confidential consultation.